I had a breakdown...it doesn't happen often...but it was a very rough morning. I thought I was handling Sydney's meltdown well and did, but I know it got to me...and I took Jaimie and Kassidy to school since Jaimie has been having anxiety...upset tummy everytime it's time to go to school. It's really odd, this is sooo unlike her. Anyway, I am and the drop off and got out to let the girls out and Jaimie starts crying so I walk up the sidewalk a little with her while my car is still running near the sidewalk and a teacher or whomever she is said I need to go and park or move so that others won't be blocked by me...but it opened up all my pent up frustration...she made the volcano errupt...poor thing got a lashing...and that isn't really like me...but it was obvious that others weren't blocked and they'd be dang stupid to not just drive past me...so I told the lady that...then I just turned around while she was talking to me got in my car and started crying...then to top that off I got honked at by some dumb driver behind me while waiting the cars to pass to get onto the road ... they obviously were in a hurry but she had no clue I was pissy and so when I did safely pull out into traffic I kindly kept my vehicle in front of hers and when she went to get into a different lane I went in front of her did that several times just to let her know she is messin with the wrong person. So in hindsight I was being unsafe...sure felt good at the moment though. Anyway, I drove into my driveway and just sat in the car and cried...talked to my mom, tried to talk to Mike...talked to Gena...but I still felt UGH...not myself...and so who should I have turned to? Could it be HEAVENLY FATHER AND JESUS? yes! but did I...I guess I just wanted to wallow in misery. I ended up feeling soo sad and Mike came home and well, all was better...it was my little wake up call to take action and get help...we were told by Christie's Neurologist that we'd be wise to get counseling...I took that advice with a grain of salt...but I realize that there is stuff that I need to get off my chest that shouldn't have to be Mike's problem to fix...

I am so thankful for Mike, who loves me unconditionally, same goes with mom...and thanks Gena and Emily for your support and love.

sigh....

tomorrow is our adventure into Maryland for Christie's Neurogenetic doctor appointment! a bit nervous...

And....what about our new president!!! I know he's got my prayers! I am sure scared about the future...but my mom said to have faith, and to "be still and know that I am God"..... more than ever before I must be a woman of faith, keep our home a safehaven and teach my children the Gospel so they can be strong as they face the world. We're in some scary times...

well, it's bedtime...nite nite!